Heist Horror Stories

Humane Labs Heist final:
After some fails, we were finally approaching the meeting point at the lake where the mission ends but some genius kept shooting at the car of that woman until it exploded...mission failed

Pacific standart heist final 1:
The team made it to the dinghy. we started driving and as you know, there is only one slight left turn followed by a slight right turn, that's it. Nothing could go wrong from this point on... WRONG! The driver managed to set the dinghy onto the sand to the right in the first corner and got stuck there until the dinghy exploded.  However, actually, I was the driver ... easily the dumbest move in my 20 years lasting gaming career...

Pacific standart heist final 2:
Random team. We failed several times because some noobs always wanted to go by themselves instead of getting into the Kuruma. Finally, we all made it to the jump point, all in defferent vehicles. I reached the checkpoint first in my kuruma and waited for the others. When they finally arrived, there was not much time left. I wanted to jump off the cliff but did not have enough inrun... so i jumped off with quite slow speed ... and landed my car in a tree where it got stuck... I had to get out and run to the dinghy... didn't make it in time ;-)

Context: The Pacific standard heist, the final part of the criminal mastermind where we had already had to restart 2 times prior.

We had gotten through the majority of the heist without a hitch, however when it got to the point when you had to parachute jump from the cliff to the dinghy, I had forgotten that I had my armour equip menu still open which means when I pressed X it would equip armour instead of opening my parachute. Ignorant to this, I jumped off the cliff, proceeded to plummet, then only at the last minute realised why it wasn't opening, mashed the O button the quickest I have in my life and managed to open my chute and had to go an extravagant route to avoid any trees that could knock me off the parachute. Needless to say I'm pretty I gave Jontti a heart attack who watched the whole thing in horror.

Fleeca Finale: Driller takes (I kid you not) 8 minutes to get into the deposit box, only to leave the bank and instead of getting into the car, decides to have a gunfight with the cops, resulting in a death and another 7-8 minute deposit box break in.

Prison Break Finale: The demolition had no idea what to do and as I was flying the Velum away from jets, he was still tracking down the bus. By the time he got to the airfield, the ground team was out and the demo insisted on trying to board the plane, ending in his frustration and suicide.

Humane Labs Finale: Twice in a row, the other ground team member failed to equip his rebreather and drowned, before almost screaming over the mic that the mission was impossible. After messaging him 'instructions' he finally made it through with me, only to chopped up by the pilots blades.

Series A: The host made it clear over mic that all vehicles would be taken on the train track route, and telling all of the crew to message him (none of us had mic) stating their understanding, which we all did. We leave the storehouse, some guy in the Mule refused to follow us and insisted on getting massacred three times in a row, only to quit out despite the host continuously giving him instructions on where to go.

Pac Standard Finale: After many failed attempts thanks to under-armored crew, we finally get in one guy's Sultan, because his Kuruma had been destroyed on the drive to the bank. Unfortunately, sticky bombs are usable in the Sultan, so the two other passengers toss them at everything, resulting in four self explosions and a pretty angry host, who wouldn't quit yelling over mic. I messaged them to quit the explosive throwing, which they did, and we made it the boat which surprised me, to be honest. But of course, the most simplistic of tasks, drive the boat into the yellow checkpoint, was failed by the hot-headed host, who beached the thing. Needless to say, we all quit, with nothing in hand.

Moral of the story: Do heists with those you know personally, or can quickly give directions to, because heists with randoms = loss of brain cells.

Horror story time.

I'll start with Prison Break. I fell victim to The Prison Break Glitch many a time - for those who don't know in case it's been patched or whatever, the game mechanics state that, if two or more wanted players are in the same vehicle, the cops will never "lose sight" of them and the stars will never start flashing - making it difficult for, say, an armoured car with four people in it shooting at everyone, to just "disappear". In the case of the Prison Break however, this meant that if everyone got into the Velum at the end and you had to lose the cops, even if Demolitions disposes of any cop chopper long before they get to the Velum, the wanted level stays locked at five stars and will never start to go away. I shit you not, I spent literally an hour just on one attempt, flying around trying to get these cops to go away until someone lost patience and left. I tried landing somewhere obscure like Mount Chiliad, where there would be no cops; flying right to the edge of the map so that it warns you to turn back; landing down in the city; nothing seemed to be working.

That was only the first part of the problem. After a few failed attempts I finally figured out what was causing it, and used voice chat to warn everyone to lose the cops BEFORE they got in the Velum. Lo and behold there was always one asshole that couldn't understand simple instructions and would jump in straight away - and because the game locks you from leaving until the final cutscene, I would end up with a locked wanted level and would have to restart. The time that I finally DID manage to get it right - which was after having played nothing but the Prison Break finale for several hours a day, a few days in a row - we managed to wait it out at Sandy Shores airfield, with me waiting in the Velum and everyone keeping watch around so that no cop cars spawned at the end of the runway. This heist was an absolute nightmare and, to my knowledge, the glitch still hasn't been patched on PS3, so now I avoid it like the plague.

When it comes to others, I've had bad experiences with Pac Standard. The main one was when everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong.

It started with idiots being completely unable to drive, with one person somehow managing to EXPLODE his T20 on the way to the bank - which is a pretty impressive feat in the short drive there from the Eclipse Towers. Restart.

By the time we got in the bank, the people on crowd control were useless. The first time we got in the bank one guy got killed by the security guards. Restart.

Round three, they killed all the security guards but one of them "accidentally" fired an RPG and killed most of the hostages, and himself. Restart.

Round four. Guards dead, hostages not killed, no one's holding a fucking RPG because they learned from their mistakes. What happens now? They stand around literally doing fucking nothing and end up getting NOOSE called. Walk outside after grabbing the cash and they all get mowed down because no one thought to equip a heavy utility vest. Restart.

Rounds five, six and seven encompassed the other guys dying at some point between exiting the bank and collecting the Lectros. Meanwhile, the process of dying so many times has reduced our take from $1.25m to just $700k at this point.

Round eight, we made it to the Lectros. We get on them all and head down the waypoint, at which the asshole who killed himself with the RPG earlier decided that we were doing a GTA Wallride 3.0 99999999RP race and rams me off the road - his teammate, a person who his victory DEPENDS ON - and I crash full speed into a brick wall. I JUST didn't die because I had a bulletproof helmet on and my Lectro is smoking. I get back on it and the engine is screwed, it's spewing smoke out of the exhaust, accelerating slowly and the KERS is broken. After about ten seconds of struggling to get away, the engine stalls and I'm surrounded by cops within seconds. Heavy utility vest or not, there was only one way this was going to end with a flashing red health bar. Restart, again.

Round nine, our cut is down to $550k and we spawn at the Lectros. I'm the last one to get on one, and for some reason the asshole who rammed me off the road before thinks that it's my fault that we failed, and decides to run me over numerous times, with me getting stuck under his bike and slowly dying. The others speed off and don't see what happened, and when I finally do die, I get a message from one of the other guys insulting me in Spanish. Restart.

At this point I'm thinking fuck this, so I decided to try and head to my garage to get a car - anything was faster than the Lectro. I get there but just get caught by a police Interceptor, and I try and get around them so I can lose them again and come back to it. With the Lectro being the slow and weak piece of shit that it is however, I get rammed numerous times by the Interceptors, to the point that the Lectro gets disabled again. I'm attempting to run down the road with three Interceptors and a NOOSE van in pursuit, while wearing a heavy utility vest. Not good.

I quit out before I died, just as the NOOSE van rammed me at full speed.

To be honest some of the lower levels (20-50) works better than some of the higher levels (100+) because the lower level guys usually have less money or whatever and are actually willing to try and earn some. The higher level guys usually just like to fuck around.

So this has to be one of the most frustrating heist experiences of my time playing GTA. 

Humane Raid Finale

Straight off the bat, guy gets in the Valkyrie and blows my gorgeous Dukes up, which seems to happen way too often. 

So we get off the ground and head towards the checkpoint to parachute, reaching the checkpoint we do the standard jump from the Valkyrie, I was ground team, and was teamed with a level 35. Now every normal person would be able to just pull the parachute and land, not this guy!!! As he smacks into the floor. So round 2, again go up, jump and this time he lands, hallelujah!! Breaches the door and blows himself up. Round 3 he jumps and face palms the Humane Labs car park. Round 4 we manage to get in and successfully get out with any mishaps.

So we get to the Valkyrie pick up and take off completely fine, in come the Buzzards, and instead of letting the rest of the team kill the Buzzards, the pilot just decides to continue, and we die. Round 2 we manage to kill the Buzzards and we finish!!! All we have to do is land. As the pilot is landing, a screen pops up... PILOT DISCONNECTED!!!!! I stayed up till 1:30 am to finish that heist also!